Adventure Kartel

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Adventure Kartel is an original intellectual property created by Ashley Wood and TP Louise. The characters are revealed via 3A Forums, whenever Ash feels like announcing them, and their story has thus far been discovered in two-sided poster mini-comics that are released with each unique character. The name comes from the name of our protagonists, the Adventure Kartel, which is a team lead by Tommy Mission to battle Zomb MD and his undead minions. A highly anticipated Adventure Kartel book is in the works.

Text from the 3A Newsletter

Deep in the lair of Zomb MD…

“Sooooo Tommy Mission, Emo of Adventure… we meet at last, yes?” Tommy Mission struggled fruitlessly to escape the heavy chains with which he had been bound. “Do not take the name of EMO in vain MD! Like a vampire cannot walk in daylight, you cannot succeed in your black… satin… midnight.” “What? Huh ? Succeed? In calling you Emo? Or succeed in feeding you to a vat of hungry Zombie Sharks, Or turning every last living creature into a beautiful ZOMBIEEEE!?” “You are so NOT the smooth talking, silken sophisti-hate that you think you are. The Kartel will be upon you like the searching tendrils of the dawning sun, bringing light where only darkness dwells! …” “HAHAHAHA my trusty Boiler Zombs will bind this “so called” KARTEL in chains, tight chains, just as surely as he bound you!” “You have only bound my body, not my soaring soul and wilful spirit!” “Oh Christ, I’m not a lonely school girl! Your powers of verse impress me not. My Boiler Zomb will rid the world of the tyranny of your emotional rants forever!” Tommy Mission threw his head back and laughed heartily. “You forget. My path is entwined with the Hand of Fate! She will not let my spark be snuffed from this plane by one such as you!” “Yes, quite so…” Zomb MD snarled in disgust. “Little good that hussy of a hand will do you Mission, you see this time at least, your saviour was also your undoing…” “What foul lie dost thou speak?” Tommy paled. “The Hand of Fate that you currently have shoved down deep, errr very deep I might add, into your back pocket is a magical implement its true. However it used to belong to someone once… it is after all a real hand…” “Do not waffle you foul meatpuppet!” “Annnnd to my Boiler Zomb... Well the hand might have well have been a piece of steak. He sniffed you out faster than a lunch truck.” Tommy Mission looked over the Boiler Zomb as he stood hunched over cautiously eyeing the delicious smelling bulge in Tommy’s back pocket. “Hurggle nluh, lunj, lunj,” he moistly mumbled. “Yesss, yessss, my handsome boy, you shall have the tasty Hand of Fate … Go! Go to him, take it and feast,” Zomb MD commanded. The Boiler Zomb shuffled towards Tommy Mission, dribbling, mewling and hungrily gnashing his rotten teeth. “Foul creature, your existence is a mockery of creation, a disease that will one day be wiped from this world.” Tommy barked with authority. Pained, he wrestled hopelessly against the confinement of his chains. Zomb MD let fly with an evil, juicy laugh and a couple of teeth. The laughter echoed about the metal clad walls of his secret underground factory lair. Tommy shivered as the Boiler Zomb groped at his back pocket. He shivered as he felt Boiler’s hot, hungry breath on his back of his neck. With a tug and whelp of surprise Boiler removed the Hand of Fate and lifted it up to his rotting nose. “Frewd, hergray, nurgl, nuh,” he grunted happily, giving the hand a precursory lick. “It is as though thou art kissing the ugly girl, completely sober,” Tommy Mission bitterly complained. “Wrongness! Fresh from the grave!” “Ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Herrrr, ha, cough cough…” Zomb MD continued. “You torment my heart like a kitten plays with a ball of wool,” Tommy Mission sapt, hot tears of frustration and black eyeliner pouring down his cheeks. “Hurgle” Boiler Zomb uttered as he began chew on the Hand Of Fate. “The Hand of Fate, my mistress!” It suddenly occurred to Tommy that the hand had been freed. “BY THE HAND OFFFF FAAAAATE!” Tommy bellowed! An intense storm of light filled the secret lair blinding Zomb MD and his trusty Boiler Zomb. The room was filled with the sound of a hundred clicks as the power of the hand unlocked every lock, button and clasp in the room. Zomb MD’s belt gave way and his trousers fell down. “My Love!” Tommy sighed as the chains around him fell limp, useless on the floor. Gathering the Hand of Fate from the stumbling, blinded Boiler Zomb. Revenge would be taken tonight against Zomb MD, but not before he had seen this week’s episode of “The Long Dark Shadows of Love” the neo goth action romance teen adventure!

“TV calls meatyman!” Tommy Mission sang while giving Boiler Zomb a good swift kick to the Jacobs. “Your comeuppance will have to wait.”

To be continued!

Adventure Kartel books

Adventure Kartel figures

A list of figures in the Adventure Kartel toy line that have been released or announced:

Designer Toys, Urban Vinyl Toys, threeA Toys
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